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I was introduced to the wonderful sport of “Saltwater Ramp Watching” in my late teens. Participation in this interesting angling sport doesn’t require tackle, a boat or truck to pull it with, just some comfy lawn chairs, virus masks for everyone, an umbrella, some sunscreen and bug repellent, plenty of refreshments and some time to laugh.
My introduction took place at Lewes, Delaware, back when the bay was full of big beautiful silver and purple seatrout or weakfish, huge packs of ravenous bluefish, runs of stripers and doormat-sized flounder. Anglers from Maryland and New Jersey left home at 2 a.m. to arrive at the always crowded Delaware ramp only to compete with local weekend anglers all anxious to get on the water.
As a spectator you need to be ramp-side early as well to get your money’s worth. Early, when tensions are high and many are a bit cranky from the long drive, and remember, there’s always at least one or two sporting an emotional hair trigger that can blossom into full blown “ramp rage” at a moment’s notice.
Set up your chairs so that you’re out of the way of and wear your masks if it gets too crowded like it’s been lately at the Matlacha ramp. Now just sit back and enjoy the show.
Without question, on any crowded weekend with lines waiting to launch, you’ll probably get to see the new boating couple at work. Typically, she’s standing on the ramp in all of his mirrors’ blind spots, waving, pointing and yelling while he’s on his 7th attempt at backing down, now with the truck, boat and trailer jackknifed halfway down the ramp blocking both ramp lanes and starting to get chest pains.
Section 2B of the Professional Ramp Watching Rulebook allows you as a seasoned spectator to step in and perform a quick and efficient “mercy launch” to save a marriage, get things moving again and to keep Mr. Hair Trigger who’s now blowing his horn and yelling from becoming violent.
Tip: Go to an uncrowded shopping center and practice backing your new boat and trailer before causing problems for yourself and others at the ramp.
Another ramp watcher’s favorite is called the “ramp stager.” These are the next folks in line to launch right before the now horn-blowing hothead, who’s already been waiting for the last 25 minutes with a white knuckle grip on the wheel as the jackknife incident was cleared.
Invariably, ramp stagers come in large packs or clans. They have a 1988 boat with 18 hours on it but have somehow managed to back down the ramp in a straight line. They then suddenly stop mid-ramp, shut off the truck and slowly get out and start unloading gear, stocking the undersized boat with a year’s worth of every beach-type item, safety gear, grill, the elderly, kids, cousins, bags of chips and pop, diapers for the newborn and 2-3 dogs, all completely oblivious to the danger they are now in from the others in line helplessly watching the sun come up from the parking lot.
Rule 1d allows you to offer gentle advice and to warn them that an angry “ramp mob” is forming and they had better hurry or things might go south.
Never “ramp stage,” it’s a major cause of ramp rage! The ramp is for launching only. Prepare everything first, far away from the actual ramp. Load it, put the plug in, remove tie-downs and get the clan up on the dock ready to board. Get in the ramp, launch and get out of the way.
Over the years I’ve witnessed many amazing things at ramps — often hilarious, other times tragic. From terrible slip and falls, heat and tension-induced fatal heart attacks, rudeness, drunkenness, fist fights and vehicles sliding backwards into the drink.
Local ramps are crowded have patience and protect yourself with a mask.
Capt. George Tunison is a Cape Coral resident fishing guide. Contact him at 239-282-9434 or captgeorget3@aol.com.